Well today its my birthday. I am half a century – the big 50. Many folk hide their age, dread being fifty and pretend their younger than they are. Me, I’m happy to be here. I feel privileged to say I have hit such a milestone. My fortieth decade was a mixed one. There was many happy events, lots of love and laughter which keeps me going. However, I also had to face a few difficult life challenging times which were so difficult.
I had many occasions to have cause for celebration. Both my sons attended university in this decade furthered their education. Our delightful labradors, Buddy and Bella came into our lives; the unconditional love they give is amazing, I really can’t imagine my life without the hairy beasties. We delivered a litter of puppies from them, and have kept in touch with puppies and owners. Now made some lovely friends. Some wonderful children have been born in the last ten years who are really close to my heart. There have been a few very happy weddings. I have mad many new friends. Need I go on. Life is precious and for living, it is all too easy to get bogged down with our problems. On a personal level Steve and I are as much in love as we were when we were teenagers. I believe this is my weapon – Love.
The one thing I am certain is in the last ten years I felt loved. The first five years were very difficult, I suddenly lost 3 stone in weight, felt very ill, and no-one seemed to know why was wrong with me. It took a while to get my health situation sorted out, but with the love of Steve, the boys and my parents I felt secure. I’ve had a few hairy moments been in hospital with septicaemia for 7 weeks, and boy was that scary. Now got my gastrostomy tube fitted. Life isn’t always easy with a stoma. Ive been admitted with several infections. However, its much better than it was, I have a fantastic medical team and nurses that come to the house which is fantastic. And I’m still here to tell the tale and thats whats important.
The second half of my forties were slightly more challenging than the first emotionally. Amongst other things: A very close uncle died, my youngest son had extensive brain surgery, my Mum died, my eldest son had meningitis, hubby had eye surgery for detached retina. But you know what we got through it all. The boys are doing well. Steve still has problems, and only had surgery last week again, but the brave bugger is dealing with it the only way he knows – full of courage – like a lion. It will be three years on the 9th August that Mum passed. I miss her every day. We had one of those relationships that we spoke or text every day. Mum wouldn’t want me moping around. She was a great character, a beautiful woman that I looked up to and admired.
One day in the consulting room at the hospital my professor handed me a card. It was for the NET Tumour Support Group that I now meet regularly with. . We have all became great friends. Sadly, one of the friends that I was very fond of passed away last year. However, I would rather have spent time with her, laughed, cried, etc, even for one year and then felt the pain of her loss than not have met her at all. we all meet regularly every month and have a great time. Its not doom and gloom, we meet at each others house or in the pub. Partners, friends, carers go too. You can have a look at the charity’s website to see what work they do: www.taect.scot I’m looking forward to helping organise the tea party in Pencaitland in November for NET Cancer Day.
I’ve had cards delivered for my 50th birthday. Including cards from friends in the Net group which is lovely. One of my friends in the group, Barbara was very thoughtful, because my eating is restricted, she made me a flower birthday cake. I could have cried, its so beautiful.
Looking forward to spending my 50’s with Steve. Doing what I enjoy. Taking photos, writing, cuddling my labs, crafting, etc. My big aim is to get back into baking and cooking, just because I’m not eating as I did doesn’t mean I should stop what I love. I got a beautiful mixer last year and boy is it going to get its ass worked off now that I have got over that hurdle. Have a great weekend guys. After Ive finished my treatment today My hubby is taking me to The Edinburgh Festival tonight and tomorrow night. Tonight its Craig Hill, tomorrow its Nina Conti